Sunday, June 10, 2007
It must have been love, but it’s over now…Gotcha! Hahahaha… I’m not in love.
Anyway today was a really, really crappy day to the truest meaning of that freaking phrase! I was out with my old schoolmates, just the 3 of us. But me being me, I hate having to vie for attention, so I chose to let them do the talking and I just look what I feel most time, like a spoiled bored brat tagging along. But I don’t really feel upset at all since they are my really old and favourite friends. I would never have tolerated such shabby treatment from anyone else.
People always tell us how the depth of love will always win length of time hand down. I think that is true to a certain extend, but sometimes there is a bond so comfortable that it is easy to maintain, like the ones I have with my old friends. It is so nice, so comfy, just like my favourite old, big, baggy and ugly T-shirt. We don’t have to keep up all the time, but when we do, we just enjoy each others company like how social creatures do.
Anyway, that aside!
Yesterday was really a truly extraordinary day. I made so many discoveries about myself! I always thought I was spontaneous but I realise I am not. I am more courageous than I will ever be spontaneous; I’d taken a picture in public. I don know why but I always feel uncomfortable in public. Maybe I really lack self confidence. I am still trying to look for it.
And I realise something else about me and Sam. From henceforth with, I am going to revert back to calling her Leng Leng, as I always did when I was younger. I realised that it is so much easier treating her like my big sister (that’s what I did yesterday and I really enjoyed myself and feel so comfortable and so myself!) than it is to treat her like an equal (which usually ends up with me feeling frustrated). Besides I think it’s really nice to have her take care of me, which I think she’s very incline to do. I think LL, you have a super indulgent tendency towards your siblings, and I AM going to assume that I am one of them!
OH yes, here comes the highlight of yesterday! I finally got the chance to introduce Ammar to LL and LL to Ammar. It so nice I think that to finally have a face to place with that name for LL.
Gosh I can really go on gushing, but I think I’d better stop.
Lastly, I am Roxanne, Francis and Joan rolled into one.
Roxanne the person I want to be, Francis the boy I still secretly yearn to be and Joan the girl with issues I’m struggling to leave behind.
PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:
JOANIE
I am pretty much like every other girl. Perhaps not that much. I like thinking for my own. One thing I can't tolerate is for people to tell me they know me. I find that terribly arrogant.
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