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JOANIE I am pretty much like every other girl. Perhaps not that much. I like thinking for my own. One thing I can't tolerate is for people to tell me they know me. I find that terribly arrogant. bolditalicstrikestrong

credits
ME. kynzgerl
CODES. SHOTGUN
BRUSHES. 1 2 3 4
IMAGES. 1 2 3

ARCHIVES
August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007

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This is me

This is me,
I live a slow pace life with morals, what's right deemed by society, instilled to me by my parents and people I love. I am meek, I don't often raise my voice, I seek safe & sercurity and I would bow down to authority.

THis is me,
I yearn for a fast life with loose morals. The shouting, the screaming, the speeding bike and above all, more than anything I would love to challenge the authority. After all, what's right and what's wrong, who is to say?

This is me,
I love the bad boys, can't stand clean looking guys. To me sexiness in a man is Tall, Dark, Handsome & Hairy (& Intellegent & Witty). Hahaha...

This is me,
I would name my cat, Pussy and my dog, Captain.

This is me,
I hate to be in fear, it cripples the strongest of mankind.

This is me,
I want to be a cold heartless bitch, so when I start being a bitch I won't have to worry about how the other person is feeling.

This is me,
I think a person who doesn't love or respect him/herself, don't deserve love or respect from anyone.

Above all, that I am. But yearning and wanting only forms a very subtle part of who I am. But, NO!!!, I need them to stand out and shine. This is me...

Working towards my yearnings and wants, above it all, towards a better MIND, BODY & SOUL.

Queasy Stomach

This is officially the week for stress, cussing and queasy stomach. Yup, you have gotten it right. Its exam Week! So far my coursework results haven't been up to mark and I am feeling a serious lack of motivation to study for my exams, thinking what's the point when I wouldn't get a good grade anyway. But after my first paper, Criminal Procedure, I realise that's not the way! I might have to retake my paper because of my damnable couldn't-care-less attitude. Lesson learned: Don't assume damnation, give things a chance to work out for themselves. And of course, always give it your best shot! Woohoo...

Today's paper is on Law of Contract. It was alright, not too tough but didn't have enough time anyway, and most importantly, I went in the Exam Hall with a better attitude. -crossing my finger- I hope I can do well for this subject.

After the paper, I left the Hall saw one of my Best Friend, AZ and gave her tremendous hug, well.. we deserve it! Then, came the Bombshell. We stood in front of the lift and after seeing Mr. FJ, I decided to grant him my smile seeing I was in a pretty mood.

Mr. FJ :"J, I want to see you after your exams." wow, where on Earth did that come from?
J :"For?"
Mr. FJ :"I think you know why." HUH???

Alright, so I later discovered it was for doing the wrong thing at the wrong place at a wrong time. D-U-H... If I was eating at I-LAW Chambers at the right time, I wouldn't even be caught. Anyway, the person who caught K (Little Black) & I eating was a lecturer I thought WAS nice. Alright, move over, so I will see Mr. FJ on thursday after our exam, get it over and done with. Have no fear, I did it and I am going to bear the consequence of my actions.
-inside, I am trembling-

Working towards being ME! A better MIND, BODY & SOUL!

Poping Prozacs

Jesse Bradford is the definition of SEXY, HOT & CUTE roll into one. Sigh…

Alright, so R is right about my skittishness and nervousness around attractive guys stems from my lack of experience. What am I to do about it? Hmmm… First I must hunt down the attractive guys and strike up a conversation with them, how’s that for a start? Hahaha… My goodness, just thinking back on what happened few hours ago I can really laugh myself silly. I was shopping with my dad, as we were approaching the fitting room, this really cute hottie actually smiled at us and started asking something, but before he finished, I turned and walked away fast. ARGH… that is so mortifying!!! Sigh… so yes I have to start striking up conversation with attractive people or I’ll constantly embarrass myself, in future.

Anyway, right now it is the mid of study week and next week will be my exams. I’m really excited about it and I absolutely can’t wait for it to be over. So much to do during the holidays, S2006 and I’ll have my hands full with choir. I’m going to learn how to play the keyboard, just go shopping, make merry and have fun. I might even consider helping out at the old folks’ home.

I’m currently really hooked on Simple Plan. They changed my views about punk rock. Songs they’ve sang are so meaningful and sometimes it’s a nice change from Gold 90 fm, which soothes my soul. Argh… Really pissed with my mum right now, nothing to do with punk rock I promised. She’s being a bitch again nagging and hitting at me in the mid of the night like we’ve got no neighbours.

Sigh. Feeling really pissed but I’m going to sleep it off and get some jog in the morning tomorrow. I wish there weren’t such things as hormones, really F-up a person’s thinking, if you know what I mean, never mind if you’re a guy.

-Take a DEEP breath, let it out-

-Pop a Prozac & shout it out-

"World peace!" Hurray...

S2006

Today surprisingly, has been a fun day. I attended the S2006 event titled “The Amazing Race”. At first, I was pretty skeptical about how the whole thing might turn out, but those worries were unfounded. I made new friends and they were really awesome; they were fun and easy to hang out with. We went round Singapore doing our missions to collect points and I thought we might really win this game; after all we did put in a lot of effort to it. I must admit I felt slightly disappointed when I realised we didn’t, but still it was a fun yet educational game.

Needless to say, there were lots of NS cute hotties at the S2006 event. Hmmm… so that’s where all the hotties have been hiding all these while… Tall, dark, handsome, witty, smart, strong, speaks with an accent, you name it.

Let’s see… to me, physical attraction is a very important factor in a relationship, followed closely by respect and admiration for one another, etc. If you really think about it, this may seem superficial enough but it is all really relevant. If there is attraction in a relationship, probability of any party straying or walking away from the other or relationship is close to nil because both parties will want to make it work, right from the start till the end. I guess that’s what they mean by learning and growing old together. If you know the one person you love, respects and admires you, wouldn’t it raise your morale? When your morale is high, naturally you’ll have the drive to do more things. That’s what they mean when they say love is supposed to do wonder and perform miracles to ones ability.

Below are some things random I came across:

My Elven name: Sal Mae Cel Byl

For those of you who are shy to confess:

“It shouldn’t be embarrassing to admit that you love somebody – fifth grade was
a long time ago. Not even the grumpiest anti-romantic wants to go through life
alone with a miserable, stinky, senile cat as her only companion.”

This is something interesting:

“The secret to compatibility is a lot like the old joke: "How do two porcupines make love?" Answer: "Very carefully.””

For those who think Compatibility is being similar to the other person, you’re dead wrong, life would be boring if there is predictability from day to day. This here’s for you:

“Compatibility is about your ability to re-connect with each other, over and
over again.”

Below is the link to the world’s tiniest and cutest blog:
www.guimp.com/blog.html

I AM WOMAN

Wow… Today was another trying day. After my decision to be a better leader for my interest group, I took actions to make improvement. And today, there was a meeting for the end of year concert. There were two proposals, one was mine, on oldies and there was the other, which was a musical focusing on singing. I had to think of ways to turn the proposal down, not because I want my idea just to prove my position but because having a musical is much more time and energy consuming, which our amateur interest group has none to spare. Besides that, I’m more of a speak-my-mind kind of person, diplomacy is really wearisome. Thankfully, I’ve got friends who are diplomatic. But then again, I have to walk the talk. Live and learn!

Today, W asked me a very good question, “J, who do you think you are?” I was taken surprise by the rudeness of that simple question, though she was jesting. But simple as it was, I could not answer the question because I am still finding that out myself. But the question got me thinking hard.


If you want to become whole, let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight, let yourself become crooked.
If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything…
Give everything up.

Tao Te Ching

I guess for mine, “If I want to be somebody, let myself be nobody.”

Who do I think I am? (Things I’m proud of)
Right from the very start, the moment I was given birth, I am my parents’ daughter. Then I am my Best Cousins’ Best Cousin. Then I am my Good Friends’ Good Friend. Then I was my Best Friend’s Best Friend. Then I met my Soul mate and became her Best Friend.

That’s who I am.

Working to be somebody, a better mind body & soul.

Today…

As I am working towards being a better and more responsible leader, I decided to redecorate my interest group’s Notice Board. At least now, it does not look as empty as before with a sudden fluctuation of photographs. Tomorrow I’ll be putting up captions in order for those photographs will make more sense. =)

My committees and I went to see our advisor today for… advice. D-U-H. It was regarding our project report for the previous concert and budgeting for our next concert, which is going to be end of this year. It suck when you try to do as much as you can so that others won’t have to do so much and yet get accused of being “corrupted”. Ironically yet as they think you’re doing everything, they think you have not done enough. I wish they would not be so judgmental & harsh on me and start taking initiative to improve on what I have missed out, after all it is my first time leading. But whatever they may think of me, I am going to put in my best effort and make a difference.

At the consultation for advice, a very casual one, I learned from W that V has broken up. Woohoo… hey! Mind you, I am not gloating. I don’t even know the girl, why would I laugh and feel happy about her misfortune, right? Right! What I’m ecstatic about is that V is single, again!!! Though that does not mean he’s mine… yet, it means I have one less hurdle to make him mine. –blush-

Hmmm… but the reason behind the break-up is… his parents. That means, the chances of our getting together anytime soon, if ever, is going to be almost NIL. :’( And I just strike a deal with SF. The one who doesn’t get attached first, shall treat the first person who gets attached to that specific guy, to a meal. Mine’s of course going to have to be V. Hers is going to have to be JY.

Looking for a song right now by the searches, goes something like this, “sweets for my sweets, sugar for my honey”. I would say it’s a really cute song. And… I’ve got a confession to make. While search for that song, I accidentally opened a porn website. Once I realized, of course as a goody two shoes, I closed it. But it was really EEWWW disgusting yet intriguing. Great, now I can’t get that damned image out of my mind. Never mind, I will get over my shock soon.

Right after this, I am going to ask if I can add V as a friend. And then… I’m going to catch the latest season of America’s Next Top Model.

Woohoo... I Feel Good.

I am proud of what represents me, but not what I represent. I’m the president of my interest group, but am not at all proud of what I have achieved to date. I know there are many people who are unhappy under my lead because I have been unsure about so many things when I first stepped on. Don’t know much about where my power & rights begin and where my responsibility ends. I was afraid to exercise my rights and sometimes I do feel wronged when people think I’m “corrupted” just because I am doing everything myself and that, does hurt— a lot.

Now that I am beginning to get a hang of everything, I make up my mind; I will and want to make a difference. I want to walk the talk, I want the best that everyone can offer and at the end of the day, I want everyone to think the hard work they put in has been worth it.

I figure out, to change how others think and feel about me, I must FIRST change myself. So I shall dedicate this web log for this reinvention of myself. I want to be a responsible leader with a strong integrity.

Among my “new” friends, to them I think I am pretty rigid. I guess I started off with the wrong foot, I made it known that I felt strongly against pre-marital sex, for a reason, of course. People in my education institution portray to the public that they have no scruples when it comes to having sex before marriage. So I got into the institution with a firm mindset that, sex is only to be engaged after marriage.

Right now, I think pre-marital sex is something that really depends on age. If you’re young and dependent, it is wrong. By dependent, I mean emotionally and financially. If you’re old enough and independent, then it is really left up to your values.

I guess, I come across as judgmental and I am judgmental. By being that and being perceived as that, I don’t feel any better than my friends, in fact I feel worst off. But, I am willing to change. I believe everyone is entitled to their individual values and I will learn how to accept them, as long as it is within standard morals and within legal measures. Oh, by the way, I’m studying law, in case you’re wondering what I do.

Not only do I want to be a great leader, I want to be a great friend. =)

Working towards a better mind, body & soul. Woohoo……