Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Run!!!
Crap!!! I promise I’m over Vishal. So over him, but I can’t help feeling small and awkward around him.
I was walking with Ain and Kannan, when I saw, I turn another direction and left them. Opps. Doesn’t it sound familiar? Crappy crap. That was exactly what I did when I was with my dad and I saw this super cute guy, I turn around and left my dad.
Ohhhh man. Talk about fight or flight. I ran at the first chance I got. I swear I am so over him but I just can’t control the way I feel. Wait… gonna check out now what trigger it. Ok, so it’s a natural response when face with a threat.
Gosh I need to get a grip anyway I’ve gotten another blog account probably gonna change over soon.
Keep you updated.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
MY biggest REGRET (listening to sometimes when we touch)
I’ve been itching to talk at length about my biggest regret up to date for days!!!
My biggest regret is a guy. His name is Dino. He is the sweetest guy I have ever known and liked, not just his looks but also his personality. I am easily attracted to people and I usually like their looks more than their personality, such is the honest shallow life of mine. Yes, you read it correctly; I am the shallowest person that I know of (after my best friend).
Unlike most guys I know, Dino is kind, I know it sounds icky for a guy to be called kind, but he truly cares about how others feel. And one thing I cannot resist is kindness. Despite the many times I had done stupid silly things that hurt, he never turn his back on me. Its probably really silly to talk about all this now that it is all in the past and I’d probably have done the same things if given a chance to make things right.
Even so, I still couldn’t help the way I felt the other when I woke up from my nap thinking of him. It’s like somewhere deep in my soul, I know I am missing a part of something really good.
He’s attached now, so even as I resent that fact, there’s nothing I can do. Perhaps I can wait until another some one special comes along. But then again as My best friend would say, he’s only attached not married. And this would be my reply, so what if he’s married?
Really, when you think about it, life is so freaking short. Why bother so much with what’s right and wrong as long as you’re able to live with your conscience? I know it’s easier to live with a guilty conscience, than it is to live without Dino.
But then, of course, I’m just saying it. Perhaps there would be one day when I would meet him again. And truly, I look forward to it.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Utter restlessnessI’m feeling sad. I am bored with life and sick of school. I wish right now. I am all dressed-up and out having fun or just sleeping the night away.
I’m feeling pathetic for feeling resentful towards people close to me.
I am feeling infinitely resentful for not having anyone to turn to, someone whom I can jump for joy at getting a place at Harry Elias and Partnership. Please hear me out before getting defensive. Some were busy, some didn’t realise the significant of it and some just haven’t got a place yet. Ah crap, why am I even sweating the small stuff?
I just think that there are more people who are there for me when I’m sad then there are people who are there when I want to jump for joy. Sigh. I mean really, if you know me well enough, how often do you see me on the verge of jumping for joy?
Alright, I’m over it.
Hmmm… right now, I wish I were out on a sweet smelling grass pasture, wind blowing right in my face and right beside me, my horse and I can at any time to rub my face against its neck.
It is so stifling here with so many concrete walls. I can’t wait to marry a rancher and get out of this place.
Sometimes, I feel very distant and detached from everyone. I could almost sink right into the background and observe all that’s going on. It is like no matter how close you are to each other or how close you claim to be, at the end of the day, you are still living a separate life. I don’t expect someone to live through my life with me 24/7, but I’m just dreaming of how nice it would be to have someone who understands, appreciates and cares, entirely and wholeheartedly. If I just had one person like that in my life, I wouldn’t need to be with him or her 24/7, just one day out of the week is enough. I’d live through my whole week just for that one day.
Sometimes, we’d like think we are something special in someone else’s life but how often are we really that?
PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:
JOANIE
I am pretty much like every other girl. Perhaps not that much. I like thinking for my own. One thing I can't tolerate is for people to tell me they know me. I find that terribly arrogant.
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